The "bad boy" appeal. If you haven't personally experienced it, then chances are you know someone who has, or you have at least heard about it. So why am I writing about it? Well, it is something that fascinates me to a certain degree. It is fascinating how humans are naturally attracted to things that they know are not good for them. A lot of this gets referred back to Adam and Eve, and how forbidden fruit always tastes so much better. There is something about being told you cannot do something, or have something, that makes you want it that much more. Most humans want to be happy; so why are we still attracted to potential danger?
The "bad boy" can scream danger in more ways than one. Most women have been warned about the bad boy appeal, and what it can do should you choose to get involved. Traditionally, the bad boy has a sexy, secretive, dangerous side to him that lures women in. The bad boy will make a woman feel special and beautiful, take what he wants from her, and then leave her with a broken heart. Women always have the hope that they can reel the bad boy in, and make him fall desperately in love with them and tame his wild ways. Some women even manage to tame the bad boy for a while, but he always seems to find his way back to the personality that he was born with. I blame Hollywood for the false hope that comes along with falling for the bad boy. How many romantic movies have we seen where the good girl falls for the bad boy, and the bad boy falls in love with the girl and turns his back on this dangerous lifestyle and wild ways just to be with her? The day I hear that this fantasy has indeed become a reality is the day that I will stop being so critical when it comes to romance.
Perhaps another reason as to why the bad boy appeal fascinates me so is because I have fallen for him. Yes, I fell for the bad boy, married him, had a baby with him, turned my back on my beloved family's advice just to be with him, and I got burned. I was one of the women who was able to tame the bad boy for some time, and for a while, it seemed as if the movie fantasy was going to come true in my life. But alas, it was inevitable that he needed to be free. We ended our marriage because he just wasn't meant to be married. He is still a loving father to our daughter, and I am grateful for that.
Ending up with a broken heart after being burned by the bad boy can be heart-wrenching. The signs of a relationship that will end badly are always there, but they are always ignored, especially when you are in love. Who wants to believe that the person you are in love with will leave you one day, even if the person you are in love with is simply not meant to be in a committed relationship? It was so easy to place blame on my ex-husband for our failed marriage. He misled me into thinking that he could handle something as important and committed as a marriage. But I married him when I knew deep down that he couldn't handle such a commitment. No matter how much I hate to admit it, we were both a fault. I now hate it when people try to bash my ex-husband simply because he is not somebody who is meant to be with one person for a lifetime. I give him credit for coming to me first with his problems, instead of fooling around on me like other husbands and/or wives I have heard about in the past.
My bad boy experience is not true for every situation, but I have yet to hear about a woman who has landed a bad boy for a lifetime. While the traditional bad boy is not the commitment type, it is important to remember that they are human too. They can fall in love, they can have families, and they are capable of change. Like anybody, however, change will not happen unless the individual wants it to happen. A woman who finds herself swept off her feet by the bad boy must be aware that if their goal is to change him into something that she wants him to be, her efforts would be put to better use elsewhere.
The attraction to danger is a natural part of being a human; however, the need for love and acceptance is natural as well. You cannot control who you fall in love with, but you can control whether or not you are blinded to see what is right before your eyes. The bad boy can be easy to fall in love with; with certain situations, falling in love with him can be downright inevitable because he appeals to that side of you that craves danger and excitement. As with any relationship, however, it is important to not lose yourself in your significant other. Every human has his or her own thoughts/feelings/beliefs, and they do not diminish just because you are with someone who appeals to the side of you that you normally keep hidden. The "bad boy" personality can bring out the dark side in anybody.
To anyone who finds themselves falling for the individual that your good sense knows is wrong for you (and be warned, they are everywhere), whether you are a man or a woman: protect your heart. Only you can give your heart away, but once you do, the person you choose to give it to can break it in an instant, and leave you to pick up the pieces.
Choose wisely.
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